Career Versus Motherhood: Should You Choose Between The Two?
Nowadays, women should feel lucky to be living in the twenty-first century, where they can get as much work opportunities out there as men get. It wasn’t always like that some years ago. Women really conquered their space in the workplace. There were times when women were not allowed to study at a university. Their main job was just to stay at home, cooking, cleaning and looking after the children. You can be proud of yourself nowadays and have an awesome career and work whichever profession you wish.
But we all know that building a career from scratch isn’t always easy. It requires hard work and a lot of consistency. After all those years of hard work paying off, you can progress in your career and achieve amazing salary and have your efforts paying off. But when you reach your 30’s (mainly) maybe you start thinking that you want some more from life, like having a baby.
Does it mean that your career is over? How can you be a good mother and be a hard working professional at the same time? Do you have to choose between the two?
A lot of people have different opinions regarding this issue. Some people say that a woman should choose just one of the two options and concentrate only on that option. Other people would say that it’s perfectly fine to have a great career (and a great remuneration consequently) and having a child at the same time and it shouldn’t impact on her job.
While lots of people have different opinions about this subject, I still think that one should give priorities in anything one does in life. If you try to do it all, you have to face consequences and not being able to cope with all the tasks thus being frustrated is one of them.
SHARING THE TIME
You can’t be super woman, right? You either do one thing or do the other. I personally think that the secret is to direct what you consider most important in your life during a certain period, at least. So instead of torturing yourself and feeling horrible for leaving your three month-old at a childcare facility and crying all day at work, stay with your child at home and try to work at least a few hours a day, doing some freelance jobs, for example. Then when time comes and if you feel that you both are ready to get out of the house and face society, go back to work and continue making a successful career for yourself.
Being a good parent comes in a package, and one of the requirements include devoting several hours of your day to give your child love and attention. Period. And the child can’t grow happy if he or she is not feeling her/his mother touch and love everyday.
But if you do decide that staying at home all day with a baby/toddler isn’t for you, you should prepare yourself to make everything work.
PREPARE YOURSELF TO MAKE IT WORK
You shouldn’t be feeling guilty for choosing to go back to work either. It doesn’t have to be a mother’s nightmare. After all, you’re providing for your family.
1. Involve your significant other. Don’t do all the work yourself. Get your husband/partner in on the game too, from the start. Every other night one of you can get uninterrupted sleep while the other is on duty if the baby wakes up. Also, you don’t want to feel like you’ll be doing a second shift of childcare and housekeeping when you get home from work. Get your partner to share the tasks too.
2. Line up childcare early. Hire someone you feel you can trust (a nanny) and practise walking away from your child a couple of times a week. You have to develop a sense of trust in your childcare provider for a smooth transition.
3. Know your priorities and relax a bit. Being a hardworking professional and a great mum may mean that your home will be a bit neglected, and that’s okay – you can’t be a super woman, remember that! If you can afford a cleaning service every week, great. If you can’t just let yourself go and don’t obsess about it.
4. If things are not working, get a new job. You can always get rid of your two-hour daily commuting, full-time job and get a part-time job that’s close to your home instead, for instance. That would decrease your salary but at least you won’t be overwhelmed with everything going on in your life.
Do you have any suggestions for working mums? Share your story with us below!